We have a loved one in the hospital right now.
This person has struggled with bi-polar for over 30 years. They’ve had great doctors and helpful medications to help stabilize their condition. But something happened two months ago… At a church service this person felt prompted to ask God to “do whatever it takes to fix me.” After praying this prayer all heaven broke loose to set this person free. Here’s the tricky bit, though… to us on earth it didn’t really look like “all heaven” broke loose, it looked like “all hell broke loose.”
Our loved one began working with their docs to remove some of the meds that they had been on for decades as well as a caffeine addiction. Their body began going through such bad withdrawals that they ended up having to be hospitalized. It’s now been exactly 30 days since they went into the hospital. Part of the reason it’s been so long is their balance got broken (didn’t know that could happen!) and is having to heal, causing them to have trouble doing the most basic of functions.
As I wrestled with God about why all this was happening I heard the simple words, “I have delivered [this person], now I’m teaching [them] a new normal”. This was hard to believe while looking at their condition. They didn’t look delivered. It took me a few days of serious battle with discouragement, fear and what I can only call feelings of “despair.” But then it sunk in.
“Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the EVIDENCE of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1).
I had to STAND in FAITH upon what the Lord had said. I began to declare it out loud every time I felt that doubt and panic coming about the situation.
“Life and death is in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).
While I was in Wales we visited Ffald-y-Brenin (“The Lord’s Sheepfold”), an amazing Christian retreat center known as a place where people are regularly miraculously healed by God. (If you are interested, here’s their website – click here).
While there I saw a handout called “how to keep your healing”. Here it is:
I knew I had to take a leap of faith, I told our loved one’s spouse about what I had heard God say about teaching them a new normal. I then sent them this handout. At the time our loved one was in such severe withdrawals they couldn’t really process it. But then something crazy happened. One day the handout had been copied multiple times and posted up on their wall… IN TWO DIFFERENT PLACES. One by their bed and one by the door. How did this happen?
It turns out one of the nurses is a believer, saw the handout, copied it and put it up for them!
Our loved one began to read it daily. And they have been improving.
The morning I received the call that they were in the hospital I had seen a post by Kris Vallotton about his book “Spirit Wars.” It recounts his story walking through a severe depression and how God showed him the demonic roots behind it and how to walk out of it. (I so recommend this book if you struggle with anxiety, depression or any kind of disorder).
When I read the post I felt an urge to send the name of this book to our loved one. Hours later I got the call saying they had been admitted to the hospital.
There are times we are “nudged” by the Holy Spirit to do things, sometimes seemingly very little things, and we don’t know why. I’ve learned when you feel that feeling, JUST DO IT. That’s what I did with this book recommendation.
The spouse of our loved one ended up buying the book. They said they ate it up and it became the basis to understand what was REALLY going on. Now that our loved one has improved enough to read it they too are eating it up.
Another amazing side note, a nurse who was sitting with them noticed the book. They were intrigued and began reading it. Our loved one awoke to find this nurse so enthralled by it that they said they are going home and ordering the book that evening! Hallelujah!
I am a firm believer in the help of medication to stabilize chemical imbalances. But I am also aware of the fact that these don’t “solve” the root problem, they only artificially treat it. God is the only one capable of SOLVING the root problem. And no problem is too big for him to solve. After 30+ years of coping our loved one was ready to have God SOLVE the problem. They are still on the journey. It’s been up and down but we are seeing change daily, change that hasn’t happened in 30+ years. Watching this whole process I’ve come to find a few things:
1. I have so much more respect for the mental health unit at the hospital now. They have been kind, caring, considerate and powerfully helpful in this process.
2. You never know who your doctors and nurses may be. God strategically positioned Christians around us who would champion the greater healing, not just make fun of it.
3. God really does “work all things for good” (Romans 8:28). We would have never imagined God would use this trial to bring new encouragement and tactics to the very hospital staff treating other people.
One day we found who had actually put up the healing handout on the wall. This amazing nurse comes up to us and asks if I was the one who sent the handout. I say yes. She says to us, “this is so important, people need to know how to keep their healing. I’ve copied it and given it out all over the hospital!”
This horribly painful trial has been used to get God’s power to heal delivered all over this hospital through the hands of a caring nurse with eyes to see the truth.
One more miraculous story – turns out every Friday night this amazing musician comes in and plays songs to the patients. He’s a Christian man who volunteers his time two days a week to serve the patients of the hospital, and he’s been doing this for 12 years now. Well, turns out WE KNOW THIS MAN! I actually took guitar lessons from this guy when I was in high school! What are the chances of that?
When this man plays all the walls drop in the hospital. There is no longer patient and doctor, there are just people being lifted up by the sound of music. The patients began requesting songs, and so did the doctors. He even played a “name that tune” game where the patients and staff played together, and everyone had a great old time. While he played I felt the Holy Spirit ushered into the room, and most of the songs he played were secular! The Holy Spirit came so palpably in that place.
Our loved one’s journey is not over yet, and we would really appreciate your prayers. But I can honestly say, as draining as this has been, it’s been such a powerful experience in seeing God’s hand in everything. God truly is a wild weaver of circumstances into blessings.
If you are suffering with anxiety, depression or any kind of disorder don’t just accept that this is how you will “have to be” for the rest of your life. Go to God and ask Him to solve it. Fight for your freedom.
Buy Kris Vallotton’s book, “Spirit Wars” (here’s a link to it) and ask for prayer!
And please reach out so I can pray for you too. Know that I too have faced a disorder. For the first twenty years of my life I was trapped in a massive anxiety disorder. I was put on medication and saw counseling for it. These things helped manage it, but then God entered in and SOLVED IT. It wasn’t easy, it was a journey, but he revealed the root causes of the anxiety I was facing. He showed me the lies I had been believing and what the actual TRUTH is. In my case that he will “NEVER leave me nor forsake me.” I was able to come off all medication and am now totally free. It is possible. I’ve seen it happen. It’s a great story. Ask me to tell it some time 🙂
You are deeply loved and cared for by God. He hasn’t brought this sickness upon you, it’s the result of living in a fallen world with a cunning enemy. But God has an even better solution for you. Go to Him and find it.
With much love,